Procrastination and Self-Exploration--A CHDer's favorite game

Right now I am sitting in the library "writing a French paper," but like a cat confronted with water, I (the cat) am finding any and every means to avoid the assignment (the water). So. Here I am, chilling on cyberspace under the justification that I have inversely been procrastinating this blog too long and thus it seems only right that I compose my thoughts here before continuing onto that pesky paper!  Whether or not my reasoning is legitimate, I feel it is time to address my evolving CHD identity since coming back from a semester in the beautiful, charming France.

A quick catch up: I had my one year post OHS appointment at Emory a few months ago and the results were great! I am cleared to do whatever I dare within the next year and have a whole year without any trips to the Cardio! SCORE! What's more, I've been told that I can spend the summer in Aspen, Colorado interning at the Aspen Institute with hiking, paragliding, rafting, work, work, work and beauty filling my every breath! SCORE AGAIN! 

I posted to the Adult Congenital Heart Association blog a few months ago about my evolving CHD identity, and every bit of that is true. But that expressed my external identity, and not my internal identity.  As I've reflected since that post and struggled to find the relevance of my heart surgery in my day to day thoughts and interactions I've read through past posts and diary entries and I've come to realize that, at least for a time, I've reached my normal.  Not my external normal, but my internal normal.  My story has become a motivator and a regulator for me, but it has taken the backseat in controlling my emotions.  Reading through past posts, fear of Open Heart Surgery plagued my every thought. Even after the surgery, fear that something would go wrong was always in the back of my mind.  I used to find myself checking my pulse every few hours just making sure it was still there. It was silly, but the fear of anything and everything to do with the heart going wrong dominated my subconscious.  Beyond fear, joy surrounded me.  Coming out of the surgery I was alive, I was empowered and I was made new.  My fear of surgery complications and pain disappeared.  I did it, I made it through and on the other side I could only see the beautiful ride to recovery that meant with each day I would get stronger and better.  With trips abroad I was given ample opportunities to test out my heart and see how far I could push it (pretty dang far y'all!) and it didn't even skip a beat!  This past year has been a chance to find external evidence to prove my inner joys and (before the surgery) inner fears, but that rush of excitement has dissipated.

In a beautiful transformation, what adventures and habits that used to be constantly celebrated in my mind have now turned to my "normal."  Now when I go to the gym or bike down the street, run to class or climb a bajillion steps, I do it out of habit. And what a blessing this is! While I appreciate every joy and happiness that surrounded (and still does) my every little accomplishment, I am so thankful that, at least for now, I have reached the point where that which was once impossible, tricky, difficult and then (after surgery) possible and surprisingly achievable is now normal.  I can now expect it of myself!  The surgery worked y'all! I am back to being a not so ordinary (I'm a little quirky if you haven't picked up on it by now), but completely enabled human being again!  I feel certain that arriving in Aspen and doing some of those adventurous things that have been placed on my bucket list will immediately remind me of the life-saving deeds done by my surgeon and the true miracle that I see in my heart's ability right now, but I will also see them as fun, daring tales to be made with friends done by  the completely enabled Katherine.

 Knowing that for now I get to feel this way and that I get to push myself to new limits and appreciate my life in all of its beauty as an extremely blessed human being extremely special to me.
Enabled and empowered I want to begin to search for how I can continue my CHD voice, advocating for myself and my like-hearted friends, empowering my community and working towards the mission of awareness and funding for CHD.  As I continue to feel more "normalized" inside I am searching for how that affects my voice and where I see myself having the strongest level of impact.

Finally, before I close I want to share a few photos from the past months and explain all that I've done.  Just because it has finally been normalized a bit for me, does not minimize the awesomeness I've been fortunate enough to experience.  Its crazy to think that just a little over a year and a half ago what I'm sharing was not even possible to consider, and now its "normal!"  I wish I could go back in time and share these photos and memories with my past self and tell her that it will be okay, reminding her of the life waiting to be lived on the other side of the unimaginable.  Just a year and a half ago none of this seemed possible, my future felt black and my understanding of what abilities lay ahead dim, but now it's clear. I've been empowered, re-energized (literally, the energy y'all!) and made sustainable to the point that I can live my life at the pace I have set for it!

I got to go to France and get to know the most beautiful, funny, kind, and brilliant French women around.  Je vous aime! 

Drink some of the most delicious champagne in the south of France... I felt like I was living in an Ingrid Michaelson song y'all!

Get a sweet kiss from my boo-thing in the light of the Eiffel Tower!

Oh and hike mountains there... really, REALLY tall mountains

Like that thing was the mountain we were on....
My heart can do that now... whaaaa?!

Climb ropes courses with my lovely roomie Nancy back here in the USA

Hang out in Chinatown of DC with these lovely ladies!

Got my Bettie on at Greek Games with my lovely grand-niece!
Go Theta!!   

Work my lovely boyfriends Student Body President Campaign :)

Storm the court after Wofford won the SoCon Championship and headed to the Big Dance to tear apart Arkansas!

I am so blessed to call all of these experiences my new "normal" and I can't wait to see where this new "normal" continues to take me in the coming weeks, months and years as I live out the amazing abilities of my unique heart!

My Heart has Wings - Going Abroad and the Heart News Here, There and Everywhere in Between!

Well, with the end of the summer and the start of a new semester, I feel it is time to update the blog with a summary of my adventures and the role my heart has played in my life recently!

This summer, after the wonderful hike in the woods with Ryan, my family and I ventured across the ocean and headed to Greece and Italy for six weeks of exploration, discovery and fun!  As part of a my father's sabbatical, we toured the two beautiful countries, absorbing food, culture, food,wine, hiking, wine, food, monuments, art, food, wine, religion, food, wine...and did I mention the food and wine?  It was an absolutely amazing time!  With my newly repaired heart I was able to do so much more than I could ever have imagined!  To quantify the progress I was making, each day I recorded the number of miles and steps I walked via a handy iPhone app. Each day we walked at least 10,000 steps (5 miles), though often more. It was mind blowing to imagine how difficult that would have been just months before. Still, throughout the trip sometimes I would have more trouble than my family members and it left me worried. Especially after our arrival and on days following nights with little sleep, exercise and stamina would be lower than I anticipated. Compared to before surgery, I was doing excellent, but exercise was still challenging when those days were combined with long, hilly hikes in the countryside.  

After returning from the amazing trip with a very happy belly and a newly acquired palette for red wine, I prepared for my follow up cardiologist appointment.  I was slightly worried that maybe my artificial Mitral Vale was no longer effective or had decreased in function and I wanted to verify all was still working properly. So, in mid July I headed to Atlanta to meet with my doctors for another Post-Op follow up and to make sure my Mitral Valve was still doing its job!  Following an Echo with a very kind Echo Technician, my doctor arrived and calmed my fears. The results of the Echo showed my Mitral Valve was still in great condition and pumping blood as effectively and efficiently as it had when it was first installed. However, My cardiologist informed me that my Tricuspid valve now had a moderate leak. This was an absolute surprise for both myself and my mother, both of us having thought I only had two problems, an ASD and a cleft in my mitral valve.  The appointment ran a little longer as my doctor explained this, new to me, situation and calmed my fears. 

So, finally, a full discription of my defect!  I was born with an ASD (a hole between the Mitral Valve and Tricuspid Valve.)  To repair this defect my original surgeon installed a patch to cover the hole and then repaired a small cleft that was left, due to the defect, in my Mitral Valve. While there was more an effect on my Mitral Valve, the ASD also negatively impacted my Tricuspid Valve. While it has been in wonderful condition for may years, only having a minor leak, it has deteriorated slightly, but not dangerously or significantly.  It will continue to function for a long time more before I need surgery to repair it as well. We anticipate that when it comes time to replace my Mitral Valve again it will also be an appropriate time to repair the Tricuspid Valve as well. In the meantime, I will probably not show symptoms for a while. When I do, they will be different from the symptoms I experienced from my Mitral Valve.  In addition to fatigue and/or possible weakness, I could potentially experience a swelling in my legs, feet and abdomen. Blood does not leak back into the lungs by this valve and so it will have little effect on my breathing ability. Still, for now this is not causing significant problems and I severely hope it continues with that trend!  

However, after all of our discussion, my doctor reassured me that I should not be feeling much, if any, additional fatigue from this leak.  The higher levels of fatigue I experienced throughout our exploration of southern Europe in comparison to my siblings and parents was primarily due to the fact that Dr. Kogan hit the reset button on my heart  only a few months ago.  My heart hasn't had time to completely rebuild its endurance in just a few short months and I'm still recovering the strength I lost during the surgery and those six weeks following. With time and continued exercise I will continue to build my endurance up, but in the meantime I must be patient with myself and realize that I am not Olympian and I have not been training for a marathon, I had Open Heart Surgery instead.  

SO! Going forward, how does my experience this summer and the new-found news of my heart health impact my daily life and how will I continue to improve my stamina each day?  Simple. Try exploring Europe some more!  This semester I am studying in the south of France, where delicious food and wine is all around and opportunities for not only 10,000 steps a day, but extra time for numbers closer to 20,000 are ample! In these next four months I will continue on the road to recovery and each day work to increase my endurance and ability by walking, exploring and enjoying the new lease on life my most recent heart surgery has provided. No, my abilities are not yet like Michael Phelps and extremely active high school-ers like my younger sisters, but they are superior to those I have had in a very long time. With each new day, and my continued daily hikes around different locations in France, my abilities will continue to evolve and open doors to physical possibilities I never could have imagined. 

A few photos from my European adventures past and present: 

Hiking Up the Hill of Recovery

I'm not sure if I have shared my CHD discovery story on this blog yet, but this past week it has become relevant and so I will share here.  As a child, I was told I had two defects, Atrial Septal Defect and a cleft in my Mitral Valve. Both were repaired by Open Heart Surgery when I was 18 months old and the impression my parents received after the surgery was that I was cured. While I would need yearly (later turning into every three year) appointments, my family and I had come to believe I would not need surgery again in my youth, and if I did need surgery again, it would be 40 or 50 years into my life. Living under this idea I experienced life to the fullest, playing church basketball, mountain biking, dancing, singing... you name it, I tried it (although normally with very little skill). Still, I loved being active.  Under this mindset I agreed to go hiking six miles with a sorority sister last summer, the summer between my freshmen and sophomore year of college.  It had been ages since I had gone on a hike and the opportunity seemed like a great chance to get to know my friend better and enjoy the beautiful summer nature.  We started the hike together and everything was normal, but by the end of the walk I could barely make it 100 feet before I had to stop, rest and try to catch my breath.  I felt like I couldn't breathe and worried I was having a serious asthma attack.  When we finally made it back to our cars I gave my mom a frantic phone call and we decided to try two doctors: the allergist and the cardiologist.  While worried about the episode, I felt certain it was more related to being outdoors during heavy allergy season in combination with exercise induced asthma and not using an inhaler before the trek. However, after the allergy appointment proved I had very few allergies it became a bit more nerve-racking and at the fateful cardiology appointment the seemingly unlikely truth was realized: my heart was no longer working as it should.  That appointment was a catalyst to many subsequent ones and finally led to my surgery in December.

Since then, as you've read, I have been on the road to recovery.  Each day, week and month offering new abilities and opportunities, blessings and gifts.  This past week, with school behind me and my lovely boyfriend in town, it seemed like the perfect opportunity to continue further up the trail, and take my first hike since my diagnosis and the surgery. For me, it marked an important occasion.  I was finally going to try the thing which I had most obviously been unable to do before the surgery. It was one further test to prove my newly fixed heart was up to the life I wanted to live.  Alert with the giddiness of adventure, my boyfriend Ryan and I set off to hike through Paris Mountain.  We started on a simple, very flat, lake trail.  By the end, both of us were yearning for more adventure and so we proceeded to the next trail, the Turtle trail.  Then, realizing we were craving just a few more hills (probably more honestly, we yearned for more time to chat in such a beautiful setting) we continued onto the Sulphur Springs Loop.  In all, we hiked approximately 4 miles.  Here and there I would call for us to stop and take some breaks, but compared to my hike last summer,my energy levels and breathing were incredible.  I never made it to a point where I felt I could not go on, quite the contrary!  As we continued onto Sulphur Springs Loop an amazing amount of energy surged through my body, something I had not experienced before the surgery.  Every step was energizing and I couldn't help but continue on my energy kick.  The only thing that forced us to leave the trails (well... our feet were aching a bit) was our stomachs begging for food as it was nearing 2:00PM.  By the end of our adventure, smiles were plastered on both of our faces. Between the hobbling from blistered feet, we celebrated the incredible day and I was overcome with joy that through the surgery this activity was now possible.  My heart had passed the test. I could now do something not previously possible, as proven by the hike with my sorority sister last summer.  To me, this adventure proved my heart, at least for now, is prepared to pump me through my goals and dreams ahead.

While this surgery is not a permanent fix, it has given me a new lease on this incredible life finally evidenced by my hike with Ryan. I am alive and filled with new-found energy that has allowed me to complete all these ventures over the past few months, including my most recent undertaking.  I've been blessed with absolutely amazing friends who are willing to participate in my CHD recovery journey. To share on such an important venture with Ryan was an absolute gift.  I was able to combine the new energy from my heart, and the developed friendships I've experienced through this surgery ordeal.  Hiking up the hills in Paris Mountain I have reached a new height in my recovery.  With only 11 days left until my sixth month's OHS anniversary, I am hiking to a new level of potential possibilities.  I can now confidently attest that I am ready for the new and improved trail ahead!

Ryan and I during our hike at Paris Mountain

Re-understanding My Life with CHD

This past week I had a follow up appointment with my CHD Cardiologist in Atlanta.  The appointment was scheduled to reexamine my heart and the palpitations I've been having. These are considered fairly normal after surgery, but they just wanted to make sure it was due to the recovery and not atrial fibrillation (results to come later this week or next).  The appointment was not meant to be a difficult one, but as we talked more about my heart, its state now (absolutely FANTASTIC) and its well-being down the road,  I was forced to confront the truth of my heart defect once again.  As I am feeling so wonderful and full of life right now, its hard to realize that come many years from now, my valve will again decline in function. I'm hopeful this will be closer to the age of 30, 35 or 40, and not sooner, but as we discussed its future decline in function I realized how much I want to pack into my life between now and then and how as a person with CHD, I will need to prioritize and organize my time so that my heart wouldn't get in the way of my dreams.  At the same time, I was forced to recognize that while I want to be married to so many dreams, I can't let planning get in the way of living my life to the fullest.  Thankfully my dad came with me to the appointment, because the overwhelming sense of what it will mean to once again prepare for surgery down the road just flooded over me.  At first, it clouded my ability to the recognize the current opportunities and future abilities I have because of my most recent surgery.  However, after talking with my dad about the realization I started to work through the anxiety and get back to the truth of my life with Congenital Heart Disease.

He reminded me of how I felt before the surgery, and the complete and utter transformation I experienced almost immediately coming out of it.  While physically it was tough at first, emotionally I was in a completely new and better place.  Then, as soon as the six weeks were up, my stamina began to shoot through the roof.  While lacking in the ability level, energy wise I felt like an Olympian!  I reviewed my blog posts and reexamined all that had happened since the surgery.  I saw and relived the transformation I had experienced over these past few months.

As my dad and I discussed the changes from before and after the surgery, and how much had gotten better for me just in the past few months, we came to the conclusion that no matter when this next surgery is, and what struggle I have to go through to make it back to the healthy side, I will get there.  This whole heart surgery thing stinks, but its my life. Its my normal.  Some people may see it as a roadblock, and coming back from this doctors appointment I saw it that way as well, but I've come to realize its not a roadblock, its my life.  Because of my experience and my condition, I will have the incredible opportunity to truly recognize the value of the experiences of my life, finishing school, traveling the world, driving my career, being a part of a family, growing older, etc. as I am living them.  I've lived this way unconsciously since the surgery, but thanks to this appointment and the conversation with my father, I now see this truth in my life.  Congenital Heart Disease, while in some ways a big hassle and limiter of my life, is also an incredible gift.  No matter how long my life is, and what all is stuffed inside of it, I am and will always be grateful for it.  I can see the true value of my experiences and realize what an immense blessing they are.

So, after coming to this conclusion, I looked back on the week I had before the appointment (it was Spring Break and a big milestone in my recovery process).  I got the opportunity to travel 8 hours away from home, separating myself from the comfort of knowing if there were an emergency my parents would be right there. I was forced to let go of any hidden fear of a recurring problem and just embrace life.  I spent the entire week with friends, soaking up sun at the beach and showing off my hot, new scar (with Zinc Oxide SPF 50 of course!).  Over the trip I got the chance to walk multiple miles up and down the beach, soak up the sun with friends, jump in the EXTREMELY cold ocean (its a miracle I didn't get a self induced heart attack!), kayak 6 1/2 miles, hang out with a wonderful and incredible boyfriend, throw the football around, go on crazy adventures with my girlfriends and much much more. These experiences were a huge blessing.  Just three months ago they wouldn't have been possible, and before the surgery the energy required would have been immense and stressful.  But not now.  I have been blessed with the ability to recognize and celebrate my life to the fullest.  Despite my condition and the future ahead, I will always have this feeling of gratefulness for my experiences and no matter what ends up fitting into this one and crazy life of mine, it is a wonderful, incredible gift and I will do my best to enjoy every minute of it.

Some photos from my adventures these past few weeks:

Living Life to the Fullest in March

I thought I was busy last month, coming back to a bunch of snow and having fun, exciting birthday adventures, but things have gotten even CRAZIER!  I would not have thought it possible!

So I will take this post to give a big update with how things are going now that I am 3 months and 19 days post op! (WOOT WOOT!)

My energy level has continued to shoot up.  I've noticed a considerable increase in my abilities, even since my last post.  Even on 6 hours of sleep I am able to go through my day considerably functional (something that was not possible without a cup of coffee last semester). With the increase in my energy level I have been able to do more tasks.  Biking around campus is continually easier.  In my P.E. class I have been able to improve the number of push-ups and sit ups I can do! I am getting my body back in shape!

There is still a bit of "pain" in my chest. Its more like soreness and I think most of it comes from my morning fitness class.  Some of the activities require me to stretch my arms straight behind my back with weight. While push-ups do not bother me, these exercises do and cause a bit of soreness the next day. (No worries, I have discontinued the exercise, but thought important to share here).

In regards to campus activities I have begun to get more involved physically as well. With my fellow classmates I cheered my Wofford Terrier Basketball team on in Asheville as they beat WCU in the SoCon Championship (jumping up and down so much I got out of breath and lost my voice!) I then joined in the cheers as we put up a great fight against Michigan in the first round of the NCAA tournament.  Then, a few weeks ago I competed with my sorority in a Panhellenic "Lip Sync competition" (We won of course! :D)  While I was not on stage very long, I spent the entire rest of the 6 minute routine jumping and screaming on the sidelines with my sisters (quite the cardio if you ask me) and was completely able to keep up.  I also participated in the "fountain challenge."  This is a challenge going around college campuses which requires those tagged in the viral Facebook post to jump into a freezing cold fountain within 24 hours of being tagged. Of course I had to get in on the fun and jumped in when I got the chance!  No hypothermia or infection, but such a blast!

Academically and extra curricular wise I have gotten back in my old groove.  Continuing off of my work last semester, I have continued to evolve a professional development program for collegiate women on my campus. Last semester I created a society, the Purple Scarf Society, and much of this semester has been devoted to pushing it through to success.  Last week I got the chance to compete against five contestants before a panel of highly successful business women and men in their perspective fields as well as 150 members of an audience and pitch my organization to the entire room. In addition to making great connections and spreading the word about this project, I got second place in the competition which included $1,000 for my project and an office in downtown Spartanburg!

Emotionally things are ten times better than last semester as well.
I took time this weekend to look over my old posts and get a feel for how things have changed.  Before the surgery the daunting fear of what could go wrong, of the pain, of the closeness with mortality, of you name it, drove me into a really tough place. That is part of the surgery preparation for most people with CHD on their way to having OHS.  It is tough to anticipate something so big and so life altering without feeling incredibly stressed and hopeless. Add to that the feeling of being handicapped and bound to nap time and you begin to feel as if you are trapped in a pit of unrelenting hopelessness.  Feelings of desperation, abandonment and utter sadness defined much of my last semester. While I tried to mask them and put on a happy face, they came out in the quiet of my room or in my conversations with family.  I was very excited to be treated for my condition, but the nerves and anxiety often tried to cloud that optimism.  In case you didn't notice when you looked through my blog, these feelings changed immediately.  As soon as I woke up from surgery a new excitement took over (quieted a bit by the grogginess caused by all those drugs, but still there).  Some days of recovery were still tough as I was still pretty weak compared to my friends and also bound to a couch, but for the most part I could see the opportunities the future held and no longer worried about impending doom with my surgery. It was DONE! Now, with even more distance this sadness has completely disappeared.  Sure, some days I may be grumpy, mad or sad about a test, an argument with a friend, etc. but these are ordinary, not life altering bumps in the road.  The huge weight has gone and in its place a multitude of new experiences and opportunities!

The difference between last semester and this semester is HUGE.  I am so thankful to the wonderful friends in my life who were there for me throughout the entire process and who continue to celebrate this new lease on life with me this year.  Next week is Spring Break (praise the LORD!) and I will be going to the beach with friends to tan (Adding a bit of Zinc Oxide to my scar so there will be no burning that new skin!).  Its going to be a great time to be a normal, ordinary college student enjoying showing off her brand new scar! I look forward to making great new memories and adding adventurous tales to the larger one of my surgery! Look out world!

Waking up after it's all over

On one of many late night drives back to Wofford last year my dad and I turned on the radio and were greeted by the song "Wake me Up" by Avicii and Aloe Blacc.  It was after a long doctors appointment at Emory and the upcoming Open Heart Surgery was heavily weighing on both of our minds. Stuck deep in the pit of depressive and anxious thoughts I listened to the lyrics and began thinking out loud, "I just wish I could wake up when this is all over."  I realized, like the character in the song, I was desperately longing to skip the anxiety, skip the pain, skip the worries, the fears, the depression,  the growth, the growing emotional strength, all of it. I wanted to skip the long, arduous journey and just get to the end where I was happy and healthy again. My dad, hearing this about to be major breakdown, quickly jumped in to remind me to listen to the parts of the song I had tuned out "...I tried carrying the weight of the world, but I only have two hands, hope I get the chance to travel the world, but I don't have any plans... life's a game made for everyone and love is the prize."  Stopping me before the hysterics ensued, he continued to remind me that after I woke up I DID have plans to see the world. We, as a family, were going to go to Greece and Italy and then later, I was going to be living in the South of France.  He went on to remind me that love is the prize and I had that prize, and that prize was given to me everyday in the form of the love and support from friends, family, neighbors, and supporters. Yes, times were hard, but I was not without love, I would not be without plans and in the end, I was going to wake up from that surgery and I was going to get up and I was going to walk again and I was going to get better and go live my life enriched by the love, friends and travel that would accompany me along the way. While his talk did hold the hysteria at bay, the fog of worry blocked this true vision from my sight. I knew his words were true, but I could not feel it in my soul, it was too deeply clouded by fear.

Since that night, the long journey, the surgery and the recovery, that cloud in my soul has evaporated. I have been caught up in the glory and beauty of life around me.  With a new sense of purpose and a clearer view of the road ahead, not to mention a much better functioning body, I have been gifted with the chance to run with this new lease on life and take advantage of so many new blessings and opportunities that surround me. 

Jump Rope for Heart

Growing up in the public school system meant every February my elementary school would hold a Jump Rope for Heart marathon for the American Heart Association.  Each time we held the event, all grade levels would get a chance to visit the school gym, grab a jump rope and hop around for the benefit of those with heart disease.  As a kid with a fabulous heart surgery scar down my front, I loved this time of year!  I was raised knowing I was fixed, but by hopping I felt I could empower others who had not yet had that good fortune.  When it was my turn to jump to my hearts desire, I pushed myself to get a bajillion jumps in (often falling short) to make an impact on the organization and to show myself and others what it looked like to be fixed.

I was reminded of my Jump Rope for Heart days this past week in my fitness class. For our cardio portion of the workout we jump rope for varying amounts of time. As I hopped around in class Thursday, feeling like a little kid again, I reminisced on these old fundraisers.  I realized how much had changed, and how much had stayed the same.  As mentioned in my previous posts, this past year has shattered the belief I was fixed, but it has not destroyed the spirit of the crazy, little jump rope girl from my elementary school days.  Jumping rope in fitness class this February has re-instilled the crazy, spunky attitude towards heart disease I had as a kid.  Now I know more about the disease and how it pertains to me.  While I am not jumping for a fundraiser, I've realized I am jumping for awareness.  As this February comes to a close and the American Heart Month finishes I celebrate the gift I have been given, and jump for those who have yet to be healthy enough to jump alongside me. 

Dancing, Sledding and Working to a New Beat!

Well, it has been a while since I have uploaded a post!  Now that I am back in action at Wofford there does not seem to be enough time in the day to accomplish school, work, projects, homework, blog, fun and rest. Still, I am loving every minute of being back! The difference in my health from last semester to this semester is insane! Now that I have returned my Wofford routine I finally see the immense improvement. Unlike before, I can now sustain my energy and upbeat attitude through the entire day without long breaks for naps or rest.  I've already run a mile on the treadmill, something I was not able to accomplish before surgery, and am back to working out twice a week in my personal fitness class. For the most part, I can keep up with my fellow classmates! Its crazy!  

These past two weeks have been awesome.  As stated above, I am back into my routine and finally back with all my friends!  Now that I'm able to keep up, we have had some pretty exciting adventures.  In case you are not aware, there is never a dull moment at Wofford College.  The school has an energetic atmosphere and the spring semester is packed with fun events almost every other weekend.  If its not a school sponsored event or sorority outing, my friends and I will plan a fun adventure and seize any spare moment not taken up with school or extra curricular work.

So this week was JAM PACKED with fun. Tuesday was my birthday and my incredible friends decided to throw the most amazing surprise party. I knew something was going to happen, but none of my guesses came even close to the fun night we had.  For the back story, I love Zumba.  No, I cannot dance (I did not inherit coordination from either parent) but I absolutely love pretending I am jamming like a cool kid to the hip music blaring around the work out room.  My Wofford Family knew this and so organized a surprise Zumba party for night of my birthday.  I was decked out in neon as were my friends (superman even made a surprise visit!) and marched over to the work out facility to get my groove on!  What an awesome time we had!  I've included pictures below that show just a slice of the excitement of the night.

Then, my little gift from the Almighty was two full days of snow!  The ground was covered as were the hills and I took the opportunity to go out on the slopes of Gibbs football Stadium.  Its Wofford tradition to flock to the football field with the slightest dusting of snow on the ground.  While there were many injuries (sledding towards a fence is bound to be dangerous), everyone had a great time!  I was able to sled like everyone else, although I did avoid sledding on my chest (thought that might hurt just a bit!)  My sternum was in great condition after we left the slopes and I felt like anyone else out on the field: wet, tired, cold but extremely happy to be embracing the Snowpocalypse of 2014!

Finally, the week ended with a wonderful Valentines Day. I went out for dinner, but then my date and I headed to Wofford's annual "Black and Gold Ball" where we danced the night away.  Unlike before the surgery, this girl didn't get tired and needed very few breaks between dances! I was able to enjoy one of my favorite pass times with a great guy, Shagging and Swing Dancing, with no issue whatsoever.

This week is proof to the Katherine of last semester that the heart surgery was necessary and for the best. Looking back, I wish I could tell the old me how wonderful I was going to feel.  I wish she had known it would be okay and the reward would far out weigh the risk and the hurt.  Thankfully, I know that now.  I'm back in love with my life and filled with thanks for my surgeon, my family and my friends for standing with me beforehand, during and now.  It worked!  I'm living to a new beat now and couldn't be happier!

ACA and CHD

As a woman with congenital heart disease, and likely multiple open heart surgeries ahead, health insurance and all the rules and regulations that go with it is going to be an important part of my future.  This past surgery cost over $100,000 and the bills are not even all the way in yet.  Thank goodness my family's has health insurance or we would be paying that amount.  Needless to say, having good insurance that covers my CHD expenses as well as other issues that arise is very important for me.  Its not just me either, but the entire community of CHD patients that this worry falls to, although every case and situation is different. With the new Affordable Care Act (ACA) things have begun to shift and the coverage and rights granted to us CHDers have been expanded.  However, with all of the back and forth on the politics side of the law many of these new regulations have become misrepresented, clouded and confusing.  I found myself overwhelmed when learning about the new ACA and wishing I could better understand what this law meant for MY future. After doing a little research I have a better idea of how my health care rights, and the rights of others, have been expanded and would like to share them here.

I'd like to share that this post is not intended to analyze the entire effect of the new health insurance plan on the broader United States, but rather to lay out the benefits and changes which effect men, women and children with congenital heart disease.  Each person is different and the best insurance option for some CHD patients is not the same for others.  I will not attempt to analyze the different packages, but rather focus on the rights which have been expanded. The Affordable Care Act ushered in some important changes which have created different rights and rules that help those of us with this pre-existing condition.

So what has changed?

Pre Existing Conditions
The biggie for CHD is the change in policy for people with pre-existing conditions.  Before the act those with CHD could be denied coverage or have much higher premiums.  However, now this practice has been outlawed.  Now you cannot be denied coverage because of any disease as long as you are not under an insurance plan in which you were grandfathered in (a non job related plan bought before March 2010).  If you have a child with CHD (or another pre-existing condition) the insurance company (as long as not grandfathered) cannot drop them from the plan either.  Under the Affordable Care Act everyone has a right to insurance!

Now, if you are an adult with a  pre-existing condition previously without insurance and are now looking on the Government Insurance Marketplace, you can sign up for a short term health insurance plan as you review the market place options. For more information visit: https://pcip.gov/

If you would like a more in depth look at how this system is projected to work check out this website:  http://kff.org/health-reform/perspective/the-numbers-behind-young-invincibles-and-the-affordable-care-act/ It is filled with a multitude of statistics, analysis and projections which can provide a window into this aspect of the ACA.

Up to age 26 you can stay on your parents plan

For those of us who are under the age of 26 and without health insurance of our own, we cannot be removed by the insurance company from the health insurance plan for any reason, no matter if we are a part of a grandfathered plan or not.  For more information: http://www.hhs.gov/healthcare/rights/youngadults/index.html


Summaries of the plan

If you are like me, reading any type of insurance document is extremely difficult.  While it is possible to apprehend the full meaning of the document, it can be tricky and important information can be missed or misunderstood. The new health care law attempts to lessen those items we miss or don't understand by requiring a list of terms used in the insurance form to be provided.  It will also ensure a summary of the plan in plain language is given to the prospective buyer.

Lifetime limits

This is an important aspect of the law for those of us with CHD, especially those with multiple surgeries and more complicated cases.  Under the ACA no limits can be placed on essential treatments as long as the health insurance plan was purchased or renewed after September 2010.  Additionally, annual dollar limits can not be placed on the insured as well. You have a right to be treated for the essential problems. More info: http://www.hhs.gov/healthcare/rights/limits/index.html

Preventative measures

This is an important section of the law for those of us with CHD.  There are often many complications which can arise with pregnancy, flu, pneumonia, illness, etc. and it is important that steps be taken to prevent these potential problems.  Although my poor little arm hates it, this means I, like many others, do not have to pay a copay or deductible for certain "preventative care" treatments.  As you can imagine, there are many different types of preventive care.  For a full list follow this link: http://www.hhs.gov/healthcare/facts/factsheets/2010/07/preventive-services-list.html

Now, this part of the health care law does have a few places where the right isn't always provided, depending on your insurance. Like the above mentioned rights, this measure only applies to those who have job related insurance or individual health plans purchased or renewed after September 2010. If you have a "grandfathered plan" (mentioned above) you may not be included in these benefits. There are a few catches with network providers and depending on how services are billed.  For more information on these restrictions see the following website: http://www.hhs.gov/healthcare/rights/preventive-care/index.html

and Finally, doctor choice and ER visits

Under the new law, you have the choice of your primary care doctor from a larger list of doctors in the area.  You can also be covered for Emergency Room visits to emergency rooms not on the list of hospital list for your area.  There are, like all of the above rights, cases were you will not be covered.  If you are grandfathered in or have not renewed your health insurance since September of 2010 you could run into trouble with this new rule.  For more information: http://www.hhs.gov/healthcare/rights/drchoice/index.html

This is an overview of the new rights insured by the Affordable Care Act.  Many of these will come in handy with different potential problems which could arise and will help ensure you are not overly burdened with the financial aspect of having congenital heart disease. Isn't going through the surgeries and stress enough?   My overview does not go into the extreme depth of the law and so I have included links below to different resources on the services provided, the mechanics of the new law and the actual law itself!  Again, this blog post is not intended for a political argument, but rather to provide insight into the rights now available to all US citizens participating in the ACA.


Helpful resources:

• http://kff.org/private-insurance/
• http://www.hhs.gov/healthcare/rights/law/index.html
• http://housedocs.house.gov/energycommerce/ppacacon.pdf (the law)
• http://www.cms.gov/CCIIO/Programs-and-Initiatives/Health-Insurance-Market-Reforms/Patients-Bill-of-Rights.html

Getting back to the new and better normal

Well I missed a post last night due to the snow apocalypse that hit the Southeast!  Yesterday I began preparing for my return to class and studies by coming back to Wofford for a few different meetings, etc.  I thought the snow warnings were just local media giving us southerners false hope and so headed to Wofford with little worry in my mind.  However, by the end of my time on campus I realized the snow was on its way and I was likely to get stuck in ice if I chose to head back.  A small part of me was just excited for the excuse to be back in the dorm with my roomie and besties for the night!

While I was away from my blog and stranded with very few "sleepover" necessities  (why I brought home all of my clothes, I am at a loss!) I spent the night going all around campus seeing friends, cooking meals, playing intense card games and winning the most epic series of catch phrase!  A few times I became tired, but easily bounced back and was able to hang out with everyone until we disbanded our festivities at 2AM!  I was amazed at how well I was able to keep up.  Walking around campus did not put me out of breath and stairs were not a problem any longer! I even ran a quarter of a mile around the track (in snow I might add), something I was not able to do before.  It is true attending class was not factored into the test trial of being back to Wofford, but after my day yesterday I feel very confident this semester will be a successful one and being able to keep up with classmates and friends will not be like the challenge of last semester!

Today I remain "stuck" at Wofford. Because my breastbone has not completely healed I am trying to avoid any potential accident or fender bender.  An airbag to the chest would not feel very comfy right now and I do not want anything standing between me and being back to my new and better normal.  The little snow day get away has turned into a heart test drive and I am pleased to say I feel I passed the test! This girl is ready for the next few months of crazy adventures and intellectual pursuits with her new and improved heart!

Six and a half weeks update!

Hi everyone! Just a quick update on my newfound freedom six weeks post OHS.

Climbing to New Heights

As I prepared for the surgery I frantically asked my fellow Zipper Sisters (on the Facebook Zipper Sister page through ACHA) about what I should expect after the surgery and attempted to research every single little possible side effect that could come up.  Preparing for surgery is a nerve wracking thing because you have no idea what condition you will come out in on the other side.  Even tons and tons of research verifying that you will be OKAY does not necessarily sink in until after all the stitches are in and you wake up in recovery.

Before surgery one of my worries was elevation and pressure change.  I am huge fan of hiking and the mountains and my family often travels up the road to a nice cabin where we adventure around the area.  We also had tentative plans (now postponed) to hike the Himalayas this summer. So naturally, the idea of elevation effecting my heart function and personal health worried me.  I read stories of women feeling discomfort and having increased palpitations etc. at increased elevation and was nervous the same would go for me after the valve replacement.  

Well this weekend I put my fears to the test!  My family and I traveled up to our cabin for a weekend get away (praying for warmer weather which never came) and I prepared myself to test out my new heart again.  The car ride up caused no issue for me and when we arrived the pressure had no effect on m heart at rest.  As the temperatures rose to a toasty 30 degrees my sister and I ventured out to check my heart in higher elevation while active.  I worried it may be harder to breathe with hills and was unreasonably nervous a problem would occur. However, after spending over an hour climbing up steep hills, running around and exploring the area I put my fears to rest for me and my cow valve had no trouble for the remainder of the weekend. 

My experience ended the fears of elevation change's effects on my heart.  While the height was not as tall as the Himalayas and the pressure not the likes of an airplane, it is clear that the effects on my heart will not be excessively troublesome for me and my valve.  I look forward to the future adventures and am excited to continue to push the limits and explore what my mended heart will let me do!

Back in the Drivers Seat of Life

The first thing I did this morning after shoving down a quick breakfast and taking my daily aspirin regimen was jump in the car and head off to my celebratory hair appointment.  No, I did not take my usual seat on the passengers side, I finally jumped in the drivers seat and grabbed hold of the wheel, speeding off in the direction of my lovely hairdresser. It felt wonderful to have full control of my day and know that I was responsible for where I went and when I arrived. While there was very slight discomfort at first, the soreness in my chest as I moved the steering wheel disappeared as I got closer to my destination and by the end of the day driving felt completely normal again!

Don't worry, I was not breaking any rules.  Today marks six weeks since the day of my surgery and coincidentally is the day all of my restrictions are lifted!  This girl can now do whatever her body will let her do...well besides extreme sports, I don't think the Olympics are calling my name.  At my last appointment with the surgeon and cardiologist I pestered them about what I needed to watch out for activity wise and what my limitations are.  For these next six months I am not allowed to lift over 40 lbs (sorry folks, I can't move in your new furniture) but otherwise I am free! This means that tomorrow I will get up and try to get my upper body back in shape.  I will be going to a work out class to start restoring my muscles (don't worry, I will take it slow).  Then, I will head to the mountains to work on walking in elevation and attempt to improve my endurance.

Beyond working my body back to health and taking back full control of my life, six weeks marks the time when I can start to address my scar.  I am very proud of the new scars I have, but will be trying to fade the purple hue around each over the next few months so they can complement my outfits quite nicely. While I will always wear my zipper proudly, I'd like it to look like a flattering battle scar rather than grape jelly smears.

Before the surgery I talked with other women who had gone through OHS and worked to improve the color of the scars.  Per their recommendation I will be using a treatment "Scar Away" (you can purchase at CVS for $20) for my larger Zipper and Vitamin E cream for the smaller drainage tube scars. Tonight I will start my treatment regimen and will be updating this page occasional on how well the product works.

Today has been a wonderful day. I finally feel free and am no longer scared of harming my breast bone.  After the great news from the doctors last week, and this new found freedom my mood could not be better! What incredible opportunities I have in store now that I have my life back. My period of dependence is up and today I happily took on a new load of responsibilities and new opportunities! Watch out world, I am back in the drivers seat of life!

Back on the Track!

Back on the Track Victory Pose!

Today I hit up the gym again to work my endurance and muscle mass back up to where it was before the surgery.  This is something I have been working on for the past few weeks (you can see my previous posts for more in depth summaries).  Now that my energy level has shot up it is becoming easier and easier to sustain longer work outs and work on increasing endurance.  Each time I start the session I set personal goals for myself (running this far, making this many laps or walking for this or that amount of time) and I try not only to reach those goals, but to surpass them.

However Building up strength can be frustrating because feeling in shape
does take a bit of time.  For the first few workouts I was surprised by how out of shape I was. Who would have thought not doing anything for approximately four weeks would make you a tad bit on the slow side?  As I exercised during week four and five I felt limited and was worried that I was not going to feel better after the recovery was deemed over. But today things changed!

I have been pushing myself each day to beat my goals, but what made today different was my goal was higher than what I was able to do before the surgery.  If you take a look at November's blog post "So what are the symptoms?" you will see that I was only able to go a mile with very little running.  Throughout the entire walk/run I was completely out of breath and by the end felt extremely tired.  Today, I set a goal to jog at least .2 miles (more than I was doing in that video) and today I beat that goal!  I jogged for over half a mile and walked the rest with very little heavy breathing!  It was AWESOME!

To me, the most wonderful thing about this surgery is I have learned what used to be "I can't" is now "I can! "There is nothing but my personal ability to get in the way of my new goals.  No more intense out of breath breaks due to blood leakage in my lungs.  No more excessive pumping for something that should take half as many beats. My heart is functioning CORRECTLY! Can you tell that I am excited?  Today I finally understood what this treatment means for my future.  I am back on track (literally) and now fully equipped to be the totally healthy person I am.

The Heart of the Matter

As I mentioned in my last video post, the appointment with my cardiologist on Friday went very well. The news was great and I was told that my heart was in perfect condition.  This all took place after I had an echo to see the progress my heart has made.

 If you have not had an echo before, I will fill you in on a secret, they take some time and if you are like me, the best way to kill time is by chatting it up.  My echo technician and I had a great conversation about my valve and after discussing my blog with her, she pointed me in the direction of some reference materials to learn more about it!  Our conversation revealed that prosthetic valves, bio-prosthetic valves in particular, are quite complex and there are many options out there.

The entire conversation was sparked when she pointed out that my new mitral valve had three leaflets instead of the two in normal mitral valves.  I did not expect there to be such a difference in the valves.  As we continued discussing the new addition to my heart I realized the complexities that go into creating a bio-prosthetic mitral valve and into the decision process as there are many different types to choose from.

Since our discussion I have followed her advice and looked a bit deeper into the world of prosthetic heart valves and while it did take the use of a scientific dictionary, I learned lots that I will share here!

Firstly, there are many different models of bio-prosthetic valves each varying in size, material, leaflet number, etc.  These factors play into the varying sizes of their hosts and their hosts hearts, as well as blood flow (if you decide to research yourself, this is a simplified definition of hemodynamics) age, ability to use coumadin and the list goes on.    One diagram I found intriguing and helpful with relation to the types of valves shows different models of valves and the materials that go into them.  It is provided by the American Heart Association's website: http://circ.ahajournals.org/content/119/7/1034/F1.expansion.html and inserted below:

As per the website above: 

"A, Bileaflet mechanical valve (St Jude); B, monoleaflet mechanical valve (Medtronic Hall); C, caged ball valve (Starr-Edwards); D, stented porcine bioprosthesis (Medtronic Mosaic); E, stented pericardial bioprosthesis (Carpentier-Edwards Magna); F, stentless porcine bioprosthesis (Medtronic Freestyle); G, percutaneous bioprosthesis expanded over a balloon (Edwards Sapien); H, self-expandable percutaneous bioprosthesis (CoreValve)."

My valve is made from the cows heart (it is a bovine valve).  Interestingly, it is made from tissue of the cows heart, but not its actual valve, unlike the porcine valve which comes from a pigs aortic valve. The companies that create these prosthesis use the biological materials and enhance them with man made features including stents and special coatings which ensure the longevity and strong function of the valves.

The surgeon and his team analyze the options for each patient, increasing the chances for a successful replacement. Thrombogenicty (blood clots caused by the new valve) and PPM (prosthesis patient mismatch) are two of the main concerns when choosing a valve, and the person must fit well with the choice in order to decrease these risks.  Because of our amazing doctors and the incredible advances in technology, this is something managed very well today and should not be a major worry.

If you are interested in learning more about bio-prosthetic heart valves, I recommend the following websites which were able to provide helpful information to me as I researched this topic:

• http://emedicine.medscape.com/article/1971075-overview#aw2aab6b3  (A general overview, with different  bioprosthetic valve production companies referenced)
• http://circ.ahajournals.org/content/119/7/1034.full#sec-1 (An overview of the different types of prosthetic heart valves)
• http://circ.ahajournals.org/content/119/7/1034/F1.expansion.html (A helpful chart included above)

5 1/2 Week Update

Here is the 5 1/2 week update!  Things are going really well and I can't wait for the six week mark only a few days away!

Eating hearty and healthy :)

Tonight my family and I decided to celebrate my siblings end to exams and my own progress in recovery by going out to dinner!  It was a wonderful meal, but extremely salty!  After finishing my last spoon full of ice cream which followed a delicious chicken dinner I started to wonder if maybe I should check out the diet guide I had been given at my hospital discharge...just to make sure I wasn't too far out of line.

Woah!  All these years I thought I was eating healthily for myself. However, after looking at this list I am feeling quite out of the "healthy eating" loop!  Obviously I knew the doughnuts and bacon were out, but caviar? Really?

Eating a low sodium and low cholesterol diet is very important for overall heart health and prolonging the life of the new valve.  By following the recommended guidelines on an everyday basis I will decrease my risks for complications, strokes and heart attacks and lessen any potential strain on my heart.  For those of you interested in following the diet for your own heart health, or if you wish to share it, I can point you to these helpful resources which will provide guidelines for heart healthy eating.

Websites include:

•  www.megaheart.com/sodium_all_about.html
• http://dwb.unl.edu/TeacherNSF/c11/c11links/www.heartinfo.com/nutrition/nutr_hp1297.htm
• www.saltfreelife.com

After my bit of research I can also offer a few guidelines for beginning the healthy diet.

1. Avoid adding salt. 
2. Steer away from fatty meats.  Instead, go for lean meats including sirloin steak (yes please!) pork tenderloin, skinless chicken or turkey breast and fish or seafood (not fried or breaded).
3. When eating vegetables, consume those cooked without salt and if you must go for the canned or frozen, make sure to use those low in sodium.
4. No more doughnuts (living next to a Krispe Kreme means that for me, this one will be broken every now and then :) )
5. For breakfast, go for dry cereals with low sodium like total bran flakes, fruit loops or frosted flakes.  You could also take the leap and go towards Kashi and Go-Lean, but any of these work.
6. All fruits and fruit juices are clear, just don't go after fried fruits and tons of apple pies if you can help it!
7. Choose the low sodium and low fat "fatty products" such as margarine, mayonnaise and oils.  
8. For some reason they have put ice cream and froyo on the no-go list! (Fat free froyo is clear though!) The research shows low fat cakes and fruit deserts like ices and sorbets are the best option when you eat deserts.
9. As for drinks, most are fine.  Alcohol, of course, in moderation.  The one area you must pay more attention to is milk.  This is hard for me, as I am a 2% milk-a-holic. It is advised that you limit yourself to 2 glasses of milk a day and stick to fat free and 1% to keep the ticker happy.

Tonight as I went out to eat, it became harder to follow these guidelines.  It is okay to splurge sometimes, but when you have been eating out fairly often or feel it necessary to stick to the diet, there are tips for eating at restaurants as well!

The first is to avoid soups as they are often filled with sodium. Next, choose entrees that are baked, grilled, broiled etc.  Ask for no salt to be added to your meal in order to keep it heart healthy (in my opinion, less salt makes it a bit tastier too!)  Choose cooked vegetables for sides, but again, make sure to request no added salt.  If you order a meal with gravy or dressings, request them on the side so as to control your salt and fat intake.  These tend to be higher in fats and salts.

These are the suggestions I was given to ensure I stay happy and healthy!  The above information is great advice I acquired through pamphlets passed to me from the hospital and certain sites with additional information.  This new plan will ensure my safety and I am excited to see the possibilities with my heart healthy diet options!

Sharing the story of CHD

As stated in previous posts, this blog, among other things, seeks to be a bridge between the isolated person with Congenital Heart Disease and the community of support and information for those with CHD.  As I develop it I learn more and more about this community and am able to share bits of that knowledge here.  Today my research brought me to a few hard stories that I wish to share.

While so many strides have been made in research and CHD care, there is still a long way to go, which is why advocacy and research is so important.  I am fortunate to have few defects, but through this entire ordeal have learned how different every patient is. While some have shared defects, often other complications will be a part of individuals health that make their cases unique. There are so many complicated parts that go into treating each defect and so much doctors and researchers are still learning.  For those born with extremely complex cases the treatment is not always effective and the road to recovery is a steep uphill battle.

This reality has begun to stick as I have heard of deaths of fellow zipper sisters due to complications with birth, recovery, etc.  I have also learned about the harsh truth with two special cases of young boys who have recently passed because of their inability to receive the right kind of treatment soon enough. The most recent story is of "Holden the Tin Man" who was a two year old boy born with a severe CHD.  His parents knew before he was born that it would be a struggle to get his heart healthy, but pushed through.  They decided to nick name their son the Tin Man as they found an uplifting parallel with the character's search for a heart.  The family spent two years through surgeries and treatments to try and get their son healthy. They were praying for a heart transplant this year, but due to complications the Tin Man passed away on January 6th.  Its a very tough story, but as I looked through the photos on Holden's Facebook page I was inspired by him and his family's perseverance.  While times were tough, so many pictures were uploaded of Holden having fun and smiling while stuck to all those wires.  One photo even depicted the Tin Man calling his Ambulance his own personal car. He appeared to have such a strong, positive attitude in the face of his struggle it was incredible to see. Below I have included his video story told a year or two ago.

I share this not to scare or depress, but to explain the unfair truth of this disease.   Each CHDers story is different , but it is important that the larger story of CHD is shared. I have benefited and will continue to benefit from my surgeries.  Thankfully I am able to live life to the fullest, as many with CHD are.  Still, like any disease, there are those who did not have that opportunity, like the Tin Man.  For them I wish to share our story and broaden the CHD community so that attention can be given to the much needed research that will prolong and save the lives of those struggling to beat their CHD.